Psychology Melbourne Blog

News and Insights from the Science of the Mind

When to ask for Help in Managing Conflict

Edited by Jill Wright,

when to ask for help in managing conflict

Conflict at home and at work is inevitable. It happens and to some of us more often than we want!

Managing conflict early is the key, before it escalates and leaves us hopeless and helpless. When managed well it can build our confidence, reshapes our capabilities and strengthens our resolve. When left unresolved it eats at our core sense of self, questioning our confidence and leaving us depleted. Not to mention those early morning ruminations of the issue in our mind churning over with thoughts such as I should’ve said this, next time I’ll tell them this and that!

Before you know it it’s a horror movie in your head that has no start or finish it just goes on and on!

Supports such as the Employee Assistance Programs, Conflict Coaching and Leadership programs when accessed can assist in providing tools to manage the conflict at hand. Whether it be putting the conflict into perspective such as, is this current situation tapping into an unresolved past issue and if so how can I address the present relevant issue at hand without being hijacked by the past. What to say or not say in your script. This is your director’s version of what to say in your style and how to use language to resolve rather than dissolve the relationship and how to work on addressing the obstacles along the road to recovery.

The earlier assistance is sought the better equipped the individual can be in addressing the conflict. So, the best time is Now before the tension or heat in the conflict rises. In the workplace getting guidance from People and Culture can assist even whilst using your EAP service.

When you think ‘should I speak to someone about this? Then the answer is Yes. You’ll thank yourself later knowing that you’ve acted early.

"Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy" - Aristotle


About the editor, Jill Wright

Jill Wright (MAPS, AAFT, AICD) is the Director and Principal Psychologist at Psychology Melbourne. Jill was twice elected General Director of the Australian Psychological Society and established the APS Victorian branch Study Group Network. Find out more about Jill Wright.