I never wanted to be a bully, but I came in bullying size – 191cm and 100kg – so I’ve always paid attention to not inflicting unintended injuries. I sit at the same level, don’t stand too close and speak mildly. Still I failed not to intimidate sometimes, and didn’t find out about it until years later.
A bully is someone who asks us to apologise to them for their bad behaviour. Why? Because we made them behave that way. So the dying violent father demanded his youngest child (age 41) apologise before coming to see him. The “child” refused.
What’s the difference, then, between bullying and a strong, high-valued thought or feeling??
Bullying is all in the perception (get over it, Snowflake)… and it is socially facilitated, not just an individual aggression. Mugging is not bullying, or is it? The bullied, standing up, may be bullying to the bully.
And, we all have capacity or need to bully to some extent, just as we do for other violence or for care and consideration. The first step in understanding and then restraining bullying is seeing that it may be in and about us all.